“this might be a bad idea” that was probably the last sane thought that spun around between the many unsettling machinations that manifested within me, as my bare feet touched the surface of the cool sand, that lay resting under the gaze of the black mantled night sky, the stars looked down upon me as i navigated the sands step by step.

As my eyes adjusted to the dark night and my skin adapted to the cold wind i saw her, lying there in front of me, beautiful and innocent, her arms stretched out, waiting for my embrace.

I took the dive, the last one i ever took

As i embraced her cold beauty, innocent and deceiving at the same time, i felt the massive lump of thoughts, ideas, machinations and fascinations, obsessions and fears inside my head, i felt them all melt together in one coherent little sentence, the last thing my mind made up: this is it.

as i waded down unto her, and made my presence clear with a silent whisper, i believed i could hear her whisper back to me. And i took another step, and another one, and i ventured down upon her endless trail to nowhere.

And as she dragged me down, or was it my own free will, i am still perfectly calm, waiting, breathing, blinking. As i get carried away a little more with each touch of her, each caress numbing my skin and each caress tears down my sense piece by piece, bit by bit.

As she drags me down into her depths, swirling and caressing me like the little one i once was, i feel my mind is adrift and at peace, drifting away in the waters of the abstract where no one will bother looking for me, there is peace here.

And as my venture down is taking me even further, further down her deepest hidden beauties, i feel my eyes have seen the last of her.

I feel my head is sinking, perhaps sinking even harder then the rest of me. I’m mostly gone now, still adrift in her loving arms, but not really, i feel like i’m being washed away, slowly drifting into the abstract, on my own, but still in her cold but loving arms, i wash away.

And when the day comes back

And when you go out and look for me, and when you set your feet upon the the warm sands.

She has washed away my little footsteps in one fell swipe

No one knew i ever was, except perhaps the gazing sky

Every proof of my existence, everything that said i was once there, is now here, with her and me, mostly here, i’m mostly gone already.

And when you walk the sands you will not find me, if you want you can write my name into the sand.

I am sure she will understand.